Let’s Hear it for the Boys!

Yes, the bride is usually the one at the center of attention when it comes to wedding planning, but the groom’s role is equally important. Not only is it essential to be supportive and involved throughout the journey, but your actions can truly make a difference in how the day unfolds. Here’s a guide to help grooms understand how to be helpful, involved, and stylish as the big day approaches.

What’s Your Job?

Let’s be clear: being a groom doesn’t mean just showing up and looking handsome (though that's a pretty important part, too). The groom’s role in the wedding planning process should be more active than many might expect. While traditionally, brides have been the primary planners, modern weddings are all about collaboration, and the groom’s input can be invaluable.

Here’s what we suggest grooms should keep in mind:

1. Communicate: The best thing you can do throughout the planning process is to stay in regular communication with your fiancé. Ask her about her vision for the day, the things she’s looking forward to, and where you can help. They may have some very specific preferences, but there’s no harm in offering your opinions on key decisions like the venue, the food, or the music.

2. Stay Involved: Don’t just leave the planning up to her. Weddings are a shared experience, and both of you should be involved in making decisions. Set aside time to research venues, caterers, and photographers. Offer input when needed, and don’t shy away from the smaller details. Every decision you make together will make the day even more special.

3. Take Ownership of Your Tasks: A wedding has a lot of moving parts, and it’s easy for both of you to become overwhelmed. As a groom, make sure you take ownership of certain aspects of the wedding that align with your strengths or interests. Whether it’s communicating with your groomsmen regularly, choosing the officiant or the entertainment choices, or helping pick out the menu or bar choices, find your space to contribute.

How to Be Helpful

Let’s face it: at times, wedding planning can be stressful, and one person might feel like she’s carrying the weight of everything. One of the most important ways you can help is by being a supportive partner. Here are some practical ways you can step in and help:

1. Plan Dates to Discuss Details: Scheduling time to talk about wedding details is crucial. You don’t want her to feel like she’s bringing everything up last-minute. Set aside time to check in on the status of tasks, make decisions, and resolve any issues.

2. Take Over the “Easy” Tasks: Sometimes, the little things can be the most stressful. Offer to handle tasks like collecting your family and friends names and addresses, creating a spreadsheet for the wedding guest list, writing the thank-you cards, or confirming hotel and transportation arrangements. These tasks may seem simple, but taking them off her plate will make a huge difference.

3. Be the Decision-Maker When Needed: Some decisions are tricky and require a final say. If your partner is indecisive about a particular element—whether it’s the song selections or the seating plan—offer to help her make the final call. This shows you’re invested in the process and are willing to take responsibility.

4. Manage the Family Dynamic: Sometimes, family can get a little over-involved or opinionated. If tensions arise, help mediate. Support your partner when dealing with family expectations and ensure that everyone’s voice is heard without letting the stress of family dynamics overwhelm the process.

Attire for Your Guys

When it comes to your wedding attire, the groomsmen are often the ones who need the most direction. They’re not used to dressing for this kind of event, so your guidance is critical to making sure everyone looks sharp and coordinated. Here’s how to make sure your guys are all set:

1. Choose Attire that Reflects the Tone of the Wedding: You’ll need to select an outfit that fits the style and formality of your wedding. Are you having a black-tie affair, or is it more laid-back with a mountain rustic vibe? Whether it’s a tuxedo, a three-piece suit, or something more casual, make sure the attire matches the wedding theme.

2. Coordinate, but Don’t Overwhelm: Your groomsmen don’t need to look exactly like you, but they should match in some way. A cohesive look can be achieved through matching ties, boutonnières, or color schemes. If you want to stand out, you could go for a slightly different style or color than the rest, but remember, everyone should look sharp without being overly identical.

3. Consider the Groom’s Look: Your look should be cohesive with the groomsmen’s, but also stand out. You are the groom, after all! Opt for a signature accessory, like a pocket square, cufflinks, or a different style of tie, to create a unique look for yourself while still complementing the group.

4. Keep Comfort in Mind: Wedding days are long, and your groomsmen will be on their feet a lot. When picking out their attire, make sure you factor in comfort. Whether it's well-fitted shirts, breathable fabrics, or shoes they can move around in, the goal is for your guys to feel good all day without complaints.

5. Set a Deadline for Rentals/Purchases: Don’t let your groomsmen wait until the last minute to pick out their attire. Set a deadline for when they need to place their orders for tuxedos or suits. This way, you avoid the chaos of last-minute alterations or missed fittings.

   PRO TIP: While we suggest making a decision on groomsmen attire roughly 6 months out, all suits should be ordered and confirmed no later than 3 months out.

At the end of the day, your role as a groom isn’t just about showing up and looking good—it’s about being present, supportive, and involved in every step of the wedding planning journey. Take the time to appreciate the moments, share the decisions, and help your partner manage the process. When you and your fiancé work as a team, the day will be unforgettable for both of you!